Newborn care the third time around

My wife and I had our third baby recently. I've been thinking about what feels different this time around, and wanted to share my observations in case it's helpful to anyone else in the newborn phase.

It definitely gets easier the 3rd time

The main thing I've noticed is that I'm just not anxious this time. With our first, I was frequently worried about whether something was normal or if I was doing things right. This time my gut instinct is generally right, or my wife knows exactly what's going on with the newborn. The sounds, diaper pails, low-sleep nights, are less of a shock to our normal day to day.

It's not that the work is easier, we are still changing diapers at 3am, switching out multiple sizes of clothes and diapers. But I can read newborn cues way better now. When she makes a weird noise or has hiccups, I know how to respond and it's a simple routine. Experience has taught me that the things that are worth worrying about are fevers and diaper rashes.

I've noticed that in our family (my wife, parents, in-laws), we're all getting better at reading newborn body language too. We respond faster when she needs something, which explains why she doesn't seem to cry as much or as intensely as our first two did at this age. While we all feel like the 3rd is the easiest to take care of and genuinely is special, I think we are actually all more efficient in responding to cues quickly and accurately.

Newborn's digestive systems are the main source of discomfort

I wish someone had explained newborn digestive systems to me more clearly before my first. What I've figured out after three kids is that newborns exist in this weird state where everything happens at once - they can be hungry, overfull, have gas, and need to poop all at the same time.

I've seen it happen so many times: baby is hungry, drinks milk, needs a burp, and also needs a diaper change. You lay them down flat for the change, they're extremely uncomfortable, and before the end of the diaper change they spit up because their system can't handle being horizontal right after eating. As an adult, we rarely experience more than one of those digestive events simultaneously. When it does happen it's a terrible day for us, but it's just several times a day for a newborn.

Now I just change diapers super fast and keep the baby upright after a feeding.

Newborn bodies change really fast and often

With all three of our kids, their skin color changed a lot in the first couple months. Their facial features shift a lot too - sometimes they look like one relative, then the next week they look like someone else entirely. After seeing this pattern three times, I think it's amazing and fun to see how your baby is a physical mix of your extended families.

Take a lot of pictures! I have a lot of newborn photos, and I can look back on all 3 to see how they went through similar phases of appearances and it's really something I'll value and love to share with my kids and family. Your beloved grandmother or great-aunt will love to see how their characteristics show up in your baby and the photos make it real.

Trust your instinct!

I've also found that you really do develop a sense for what your baby needs if you just spend time observing them. It's simple pattern recognition after staring at them for hours. You start to notice what certain movements or sounds typically mean, and which positions for holding them or rocking them gives them relief.

There's also something about the newborn smell and the soft newborn skin and hair that's sacred. It's a precious experience to witness and be a part of, and the grind of being a caretaker for a newborn is a blessing and a privilege.

Everyone's experience is different, and your baby might be nothing like mine. But if you're on your first or second and feeling overwhelmed, just know that it does get more intuitive with practice. You're probably doing better than you think.